Countdown To My New Tour!

Hi peeps, Mandy here! I am SO excited because it’s nearly here — we’ve got just FIVE days to go until the first ever Rat Arsed Tour kicks off, and honestly I can’t wait. I’ve been sitting on this mischief for ages and now it’s finally about to be unleashed on the streets of London (with alcohol in the mix

). So let me tell you exactly what you’re in for…

Introducing Rat Arsed Tours: History With a Hangover and Zero Regret

London doesn’t need another reverential walking tour delivered by someone clutching laminated facts and undying respect for dead monarchs. What it does need is laughter, booze, and a healthy disrespect for the people cast in bronze. Enter: Rat Arsed Tours—where history gets tipsy, sarcasm leads the way, and Thursday nights finally claim their rightful crown.

The Thrill of Doing Something Bloody Different

We’re all starving for novelty. We’ve axe-thrown, escaped rooms, and pretended bottomless brunch is a personality. But strolling through London at night with a drink in hand and a guide who cheerfully slanders statues? That’s new. That’s necessary. That’s Rat Arsed.

You’ll hear outrageous “history” (possibly real, possibly improved), roast the rich and powerful, and learn why some people got a statue when they could barely organise a battle in a teacup.

Connection > Content

Let’s be honest: we’ve forgotten how to have fun without a screen telling us what to do. Rat Arsed Tours is the opposite of scrolling alone under a blanket. You’re out in the world, in a pack of strangers-turned-allies, united by mockery, cocktails, and the joy of saying, “Did that actually happen?” (Answer: Maybe. Who cares.)

There’s banter, bonding, collective side-eyeing of aristocratic nonsense—and even a speed-dating-style stop outside St James’s Palace to ensure nobody leaves emotionally or physically dehydrated.

For God’s Sake—We Need to Laugh

Life’s been heavy. The news is a circus without the fun bits. Laughter is no longer a luxury; it’s survival. Rat Arsed Tours delivers comedy straight to the cobblestones—using dead royals, overpaid aristocrats, and historically useless philanthropists as material. Everyone’s fair game, especially the ones with double-barrelled surnames.

Booze + Steps = Fitness, Basically

Yes, there’s walking. But it’s walking with pints. You’ll get your steps in while exploring London under its sexiest lighting: night. Streetlamps glow, monuments loom, and you’re just tipsy enough to believe a Georgian duke is judging your trainers.

Alcohol doesn’t just soften the night—it elevates it. Facts become flexible, statues become punchlines, and strangers become co-conspirators.

Why Thursday? Because Friday’s Been Coasting for Years

Rat Arsed launches on the first Thursday of October, because Thursday is the new Friday, and frankly, Friday needs the competition.

You can still drag yourself into work the next morning and feel secretly smug—because while everyone else was doom-scrolling and reheating pasta, you were out cackling at the feet of questionable heroes with a beer and an attitude.

And don’t panic: more Fridays are coming. Consider this the soft launch of your chaotic era.

Rat Arsed Tours: Come for the history, stay for the slander.See you in five days, my lovelies — bring your sarcasm and your liver.